What We Owe Others

Today I had the best Sunday – spent time in meditation this morning, went to Mass with my beautiful wife, helped to cook a meal shared by my parents and my kids and grandkids and then took my grandson to the park to do dangerous things. And now I am praying the Rosary. Perfect Sunday!

Imagine what the world would be like if more and more people lived Sunday well. To worship and receive Jesus at Mass, spend time with family and friends engaging in activities that made us delight in the good world God made, spent time in prayer and did something for those in need.

The world would change.

So let’s take back Sunday and change the world.

one

We have been learning about and meditating on the virtue of Justice - the constant and firm choice to give God and neighbor their due – what we owe them.

In justice we must consider first what we owe God and others; then secondly what we should not deprive them. 

To begin with we owe all people, even enemies good-will and respect.

Good-will is the virtue in which we make the choice to  

a.  Want good for others; even competitors, even enemies

b.  Think well of others;

c.   Speak well of others: every person has the right to a good reputation

Good will means never view other people as less great than their true dignity. Every human was made in the Image of God, and all are called to share in His divine life – therefore all people have an immense dignity that deserves respect. We must never reduce them to some attribute or defect or label. No person can be reduced to simply a democrat or liberal or republican or conservative or whatever negative or disparaging term we use.

Descriptions are fine but reductions are not. Try to go the next 24 hours without reducing a person to a label.

two

In Justice we ask: What do I owe those God has placed closest to me - my spouse, children, their spouses, grandchildren, parents?

I owe them time, attention, love, honor, affection, care and concern. But not just in a general way, rather I owe them these things in the way God designed them. Every person has their way they want to receive love and care – let’s call it their love language – If we really want to give them what we owe them, then give it in the way that is best suited to them.

Now – burnt out lights or loose doorhandles or little maintenance items around the house don’t bother me. They really bother my wife Sandy. If I would notice these and take care of them without her having to ask – she would experience love and care according to her love language.

Too often I don’t make the effort to ask – what would Sandy really like or appreciate or need. We owe it to them to know them well enough to respond to their love language. Apply the same principle to every close family relationship.

Do you know them well enough to give them what they need in the way they need to receive it?

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In justice we then look at who needs my help most urgently – right now.

Of my family, friends, co-workers etc., who is the closest person to me who needs the most right now? There we will find a convergence.

There are lots of people in our lives and there are even more needs. We can’t address them all at the same time. So, we must assess to whom do I owe time and attention; then assess the state of their current needs; and respond to those most urgent.

Here we must be careful because one person may always have an urgent crisis which if that gets all our attention all the time – others will be neglected. But if we are continuously assessing the relationships in our lives and asking the questions:

·       Have I spent time with this person?

·       Have I delighted in them and made sure they know I know and understand them?

·       Do I know what they need?

·       Have I responded?

It is easy to get caught up in our routines, our work, our entertainment and fail to know or care for the other people in our life.

The virtue of justice enables us to continuously turn from looking only at our wants and needs to the wants and needs of others. This does two things: it saves us from vice and loneliness; and it results in great relationships with others.

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Justice also demands that we not deprive others of what they have a right to.

The 5th Commandment tells us innocent persons have a right to their lives. Murder (particularly abortion) deprives them of this right, and so is unjust. 

The 6th and 9th Commandments teach that before engaging in any sexual activity, our partner has a right to a total and permanent, commitment, which can only take place through marriage. Fornication and adultery deprive the other of this right, and so is unjust. Persons have the right to their spiritual dignity, that is, to be appreciated for their full personal value (as opposed to being treated as a merely physical object).  Pornography deprives a person of that right, and so is unjust.

The 7th Commandment tells us that persons have a right to certain material possessions. Theft or swindling is the violation of that right. 

The 8th Commandment reminds us others have a right to a good name, a good reputation. Gossip is the violation of that right, and so is unjust. Everyone has the right to be treated courteously. Rudeness is the violation of that right, and so is unjust. Innocent and sincere persons have the right to truth.  Lying is the violation of that right, and so it is unjust.

Remember, justice and injustice aren’t simply about rules and rule-breaking. They’re about people and relationships.

Justice is about being able to form and sustain genuine community. It’s about being able to have friends. To put it as simply as possible, it’s no fun being a jerk, and justice keeps you from being a jerk. That’s why it matters so much. 

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The clearest expression of justice is to live the Golden Rule

Always treat others as you would like them to treat you.

The Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of Justice and Love.

Those who want to enter this kingdom will be assessed according to the only Rule in the Kingdom – the Golden Rule.

If Christ the King would come today, I would not measure up.

But that is ok because hopefully he is giving me more time.

But I must not delay, must not put it off. I need to take stock of my life, examine the way I think, feel and act and make the necessary effort to make the Golden Rule my standard way of living.

How would you measure up if the King of Justice came to you today?