What We Owe Others

one

We have been learning about and meditating on the virtue of Justice - the constant and firm choice to give God and neighbor their due – what we owe them.

In justice we must consider first what we owe God and others; then secondly what we should not deprive them. 

To begin with we owe all people, even enemies good-will and respect.

Good-will is the virtue in which we make the choice to  

a.  Want good for others: even competitors, even enemies

b.  Think well of others: give them the benefit of the doubt, make excuses for them

c.   Speak well of others: every person has the right to a good reputation

Some have remarked that they don’t understand making excuses for others. Here is what I mean. There are three parts of any action: the act itself -what you are doing; the reason why you are doing it; and the circumstances surrounding the action. You can see the actions of others but that is all you can see. You can’t know all their reasons and their circumstances. We are quick to judge when we only have 1/3 of the information.  

Respect means never view other people as less great than their true dignity. Every human was made in the Image of God, and all are called to share in His divine life – therefore all people have an immense dignity that deserves respect. We must never reduce them to some attribute or defect or label. No person can be reduced to simply a democrat or liberal or republican or conservative or whatever negative or disparaging term we use.

Descriptions are fine but reductions are not – yet we are all guilty of this injustice. Try to go the next 24 hours without reducing a person to a label.

two

We have already covered what we owe God. After that we must ask: what do I owe those God has placed closest to me - my spouse, children, their spouses, grandchildren, parents?

I owe those closest to me time, attention, love, honor, affection, care and concern. But not just in a general way, rather I owe them these things in the way God designed her to receive them. Every person has their way they want to receive love and care – let’s call it their love language – If we really want to give them what we owe them, then give it in the way that is best suited to them.

Now – burnt out lights or loose doorhandles or little maintenance items around the house don’t bother me. They really bother my wife Sandy. If I would notice these and take care of them without her having to ask – she would experience love and care according to her love language.

We don’t make the effort to ask ourselves – what would my spouse or another really like or appreciate or need. We owe it to them to know them well enough to respond to their love language. Apply the same principle to every close family relationship. Do you know them well enough to give them what they need in the way they need to receive it?

three

In justice we then look at who needs my help most urgently – right now.

Of my family, friends, co-workers etc., who is the closest person to me who needs the most right now? There we will find a convergence.

There are lots of people in our lives and there are even more needs. We can’t address them all at the same time. Therefore, we must assess to whom do I owe time and attention and then assess the state of their current needs and respond to those most urgent. Here we must be careful because one person may always have an urgent crisis which if that gets all our attention all the time – others will be neglected. But if we are continuously assessing the relationships in our lives and asking the questions: have I spent time with this person or that; have I delighted in them and made sure they know I know and understand them; do I know what they need; have I responded.

It is so easy for us to get caught up in our routines, our work, our entertainment, our own wants and needs so that we fail to know or care for the other people in our life.

The virtue of justice enables us to continuously turn from looking only at our wants and needs to the wants and needs of others. This does two things: it saves us from vice and loneliness; and it results in great relationships with others.

four

Justice also demands that we not deprive others of what they have a right to.

The 5th Commandment tells us innocent persons have a right to their lives. Murder (particularly abortion) deprives them of this right, and so is unjust. 

The 6th and 9th Commandments teach that before engaging in any sexual activity, our partner has a right to a total and permanent, commitment, which can only take place through marriage. Fornication and adultery deprive the other of this right, and so is unjust. Persons have the right to their spiritual dignity, that is, to be appreciated for their full personal value (as opposed to being treated as a merely physical object).  Pornography deprives a person of that right, and so is unjust.

The 7th Commandment tells us that persons have a right to certain material possessions. Theft or swindling is the violation of that right. 

The 8th Commandment reminds us others have a right to a good name, a good reputation. Gossip is the violation of that right, and so is unjust. Everyone has the right to be treated courteously. Rudeness is the violation of that right, and so is unjust. Innocent and sincere persons have the right to truth.  Lying is the violation of that right, and so it is unjust.

Remember, justice and injustice aren’t simply about rules and rule-breaking. They’re about people, and not damaging your relationship with them through selfishness and carelessness. Justice is about being able to form and sustain genuine community. It’s about being able to have friends. To put it as simply as possible, it’s no fun being a jerk, and justice keeps you from being a jerk. That’s why it matters so much. 

five

Justice to God demands going the extra mile with our neighbor.

We owe God everything and there is no way we could ever pay him back. However, God has given us a wonderful way to at least try in gratitude to give back to God by giving to others. In Matthew 25 Jesus reminds us that whatever we do or fail to do for others we do or fail to do for Him. So every time we take care of another person – we are giving back to God in gratitude for giving us everything.

With this attitude listen to the words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount.

And if anyone orders you to go one mile, go two miles with him. Give to anyone who asks, and if anyone wants to borrow, do not turn away. 'You have learnt how it was said: You must love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say this to you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you; in this way you will be sons of your Father in heaven, for he causes his sun to rise on bad men as well as good, and his rain to fall on honest and dishonest men alike.