Lust
one
What is the nature of lust?
a. Like food, human sexuality is a great gift from God
i. It brings together all our faculties for love – physical, emotional, parental – in a way that nothing else on earth does.
ii. It reflects the love of the Trinity, where the love between persons proceeds into another Person
iii. And it serves as one of the primary images of God’s radical love for us, especially in Christ
b. So clearly, sexuality is meant to be directed to the ultimate human good of love
i. Lust is where we lose that direction. It’s where we pursue sexuality that’s disconnected from, and even an attack on, our capacity for love.
two
Unitive love
a. We are incredible people composed of both body and soul
i. And there should be a symmetry with what happens at the level of our bodies and what happens at the level of our personhood
1. Otherwise, there’d be a lack of integrity – a profound dis-alignment – between the two halves of what we are.
b. Well, sexual love is designed to be a total physical self-gift: one gives one’s whole body, and even one’s genetic makeup in the reproductive material – to the other person.
c. But if it’s a total self-gift at the physical level, then that could only make sense in the context of a relationship of total self-gift at the personal level.
i. Otherwise, we’d be doing something physically that didn’t reflect who we are personal – and that’s just a lack of integrity?
ii. So what is the relationship of total personal self-gift that can be the context for the physical total self-gift of sexuality?
1. Very simply, it’s called marriage. And sexual activity that happens outside of that complete personal love is simply a violation of the way the human person – body and soul – is structure for love.
three
Procreative love
a. More than that, sexual activity is clearly directed towards parental love
i. That’s why our sexual organs are also called our reproductive organs, and why the sexual act is also the reproductive act.
b. There’s only one organic function which it takes two people to perform, and that is the reproductive function
i. So when a couple comes together sexually, they are literally acting as a single organism – which is, of course, why the Bible calls it being “one flesh.”
c. All this means that any type of sexual activity which you do in such a way as makes reproduction impossible, is an misuse of this capacity to be united as one with the other person.
i. In other words, to reject the parental love of sex is, ultimately, to reject a key part of the spousal love of sex.
1. And again, separating sex from love is just what we mean by lust.
four
There’s always the temptation in human life to not love enough
a. And the Church never condemns love – it only condemns not loving enough
b. It condemns a sexuality that picks and chooses which part of the other person we will accept
i. If we reject their future, by not committing to them for life
ii. If we reject their fertility, by sterilizing some aspect of our sexual relationship
iii. If we reject their uniqueness, their unfathomable depth, by going off to sleep with someone else
iv. If we reject their personality entirely, by simply objectifying them with our eyes or imagination
c. That’s not loving enough, and Jesus and the Church are calling you to do better.
five
Marital Fasting
a. Almost nobody talks about this today, but one of the great pieces of advice given by St. Paul is that Christian couples should agree to go through periods of consensual fasting, times especially dedicated to prayer.
i. What better way to remind your spouse that you love them for who they are, for their whole human personality, and not just for the physical pleasure they can bring you?
b. What better way to remind yourselves that while sexuality must be expressed in a context of love, love doesn’t need to be expressed in a context of sexuality
c. Consider, perhaps, talking with your spouse about a small time of fasting out of love for God and love for each other.